Moving

No matter how much of your personal belongings you shed, there is always more left than you think.

Over the past several years my Mother had been lightening her "load". This was a good thing since she was a serial mover. The shortest time she spent at one place was just under 30 days and the longest 2 years. Most of the time every 6-12 months she would move.

Over this past week our family has been packing and moving Mom's belongings. While she had gotten rid of most of her furniture, I believe she had taken up collecting dishes. There were at least 3 sets of every day dishes and one set of fancy china. Oh and six different sets of stemware.

Mom

At about 11:30 last night my Mother passed away. She had a long life, not always easy, and enjoyed it all. I will truly miss her. Bye Mom.

Truth and lies were tangled

I have no idea what is the truth.

That is the way my kid’s mom wanted it, and that is why she moved them 2089.88 miles away. The reason given is that the father of her youngest could get work there due to the west coast housing boom. Forget that Austin, a mere 80.5 miles away, was experiencing a similar housing boom.

Her goal was to prevent me from having anything like a normal relationship with my kids and she has excelled. The oldest is now in trouble with the law. Numbers 2 & 3 think my wife and I are meddling where we don’t belong. All we have done is talk to the oldest to hear her side.

She is aware that she has done wrong and must take responsibility for her actions. She would like to come visit when “things” have cleared up. We would like that as well. We have never suggested that she move here although it would be nice.

I have missed a lot of my childrens lives. I have hidden the sorrow I felt from them and unfortunately, in an attempt to lessen my pain, not tried to call them as much as I should. The few visits there have been over the years re-open old wounds and this old bear sulks off to his cave to lick them. Most people tend to shy away from things that cause pain. It is part of our survival mode as a species.

What did you say?

My Mom called me at work the other day. She starts by telling me that she talked to my kid's mom (my ex-wife) and that my daughter is in trouble and going to court that day. It seems that she withdrew money from her mother's bank account, about $3000, and has been doing drugs.

It has been hard for me to do any effective parenting since 1995. That year the divorce was final and as the ex didn't get what she wanted (sole custody) she up and moved as far from Texas as she could get, Oregon. Since then it has been tough to even keep in touch with my kids.

Even though my mind was still trying to process what my Mother just told me (remember?) she says, "Oh they did a test and the results came back that I have liver cancer." My brain locks up. The office is humming with activity and suddenly seems very loud or is that pounding noise actually my heart? I'm stunned. Two important people in my life are trouble. What can I do to help them? I am the one everyone comes to for answers but I have non for myself.

My Daughter had her hearing and was released without bond but with conditions she almost immediately broke. She has dropped out of sight and is not responding to our pleas that she contact us.

My Mother faces further tests to determine the extent of her disease.

I feel helpless.