My Mom called me at work the other day. She starts by telling me that she talked to my kid's mom (my ex-wife) and that my daughter is in trouble and going to court that day. It seems that she withdrew money from her mother's bank account, about $3000, and has been doing drugs.
It has been hard for me to do any effective parenting since 1995. That year the divorce was final and as the ex didn't get what she wanted (sole custody) she up and moved as far from Texas as she could get, Oregon. Since then it has been tough to even keep in touch with my kids.
Even though my mind was still trying to process what my Mother just told me (remember?) she says, "Oh they did a test and the results came back that I have liver cancer." My brain locks up. The office is humming with activity and suddenly seems very loud or is that pounding noise actually my heart? I'm stunned. Two important people in my life are trouble. What can I do to help them? I am the one everyone comes to for answers but I have non for myself.
My Daughter had her hearing and was released without bond but with conditions she almost immediately broke. She has dropped out of sight and is not responding to our pleas that she contact us.
My Mother faces further tests to determine the extent of her disease.
I feel helpless.
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Boy isn't this all just getting messy? :(
ReplyDeleteYou are helpless.
ReplyDeleteWhich means that stressing out over it does no one any good, least of all you.
It's times like these that some faith comes in handy.
Things may not (probably won't) work out the way you want them to. They may not (probably won't) work out the way it's easiest for everyone involved. But they will work out the way they're supposed to.
Both of them are in God's hands. Your daughter has made her choices and is now required to face the consequences of them. Hopefully she'll learn and grow from the experience...but whether she does or not is not within your control.
Maybe it's your mom's time to go home and maybe it isn't. Again, not within your control.
I realize it's easy to sit back from a safe distance and tell you not to worry about them. You will. It's just human nature and not necessarily a bad thing. Just try to keep it in perspective and don't worry so much that it negatively impacts your health or productivity.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
And that concludes your unsolicited advice for the day.
I don't know where you stand with God, but I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Whether you believe in Him or not, He believes in you.